Lottie Tomlinson has spoken openly about grief, motherhood and her close bond with her brother, Louis Tomlinson. She became emotional as she talked about her late mum.
An Emotional Conversation
The influencer was a guest on the Feel Good Formula podcast with Boots, which is hosted by Zara McDermott, Louis's girlfriend. The Sun reports that Lottie was seen wiping away tears during the conversation.
Lottie was 18 when her mother, Johannah Deakin, died of leukaemia in 2016 at the age of 43. Today Lottie is a mum of two. She shares her children with Lewis Burton, and the Daily Mail reports that she is engaged to him.
“It’s really hard having your own kids without your mum,” she said. She added that she had told herself before the conversation not to cry.
She said her sisters have been a big support. “We’ve all sort of come together and tried to look after each other,” she explained. She said that doing so makes her feel closer to her mum, because she knows how much being a mother meant to her.
'You're Sort of Bottom of the Pile'
When Zara asked how she copes with being there for everyone else while she is grieving herself, Lottie gave an honest answer. “You’re sort of bottom of the pile,” she said, according to the Daily Mail. She explained that she tries to stay strong and hold everything together, so when someone acknowledges how hard it is, her emotions come to the surface.
Looking back, she said she wished she had been “gentler” with herself while grieving. She remembered feeling guilty on days when she felt happy, and she said the lesson is to “ride the wave” and embrace everything.
She also remembered her mum as a deeply dedicated, full-time mother to seven children. “I don’t know how she did it,” she said.
Life on Tour With Louis
Lottie also looked back on her years on the road with Louis. As the Daily Mail reports, she first joined One Direction on tour at 15, when her mum arranged for her to get work experience with the band's hair stylist, Lou Teasdale.
“I appreciate now that he even let me come on the tour,” Lottie said, as quoted by The Sun. “But it was actually really nice in the end because he sort of stepped into a real fatherly role on that tour, and he didn’t let me get away with anything.”
She said those years gave the siblings a bond that is hard to put into words. “We’re so close now, and I think it is because of those few years,” she said. She added that it went both ways: “He was sort of fathering me a bit, but I was almost mothering him a bit as well.”
According to The Sun, the brother and sister grew even closer after their mother died. The family suffered another loss in 2019, when Lottie’s younger sister, Félicité, died.
Lottie’s openness on the podcast is a reminder that grief doesn’t follow a timeline. It’s also a reminder of how much family support matters through it.
Source: The Sun
